My Plea

My plea to parents:

Teach your child manners.  He should say, "Thank you," when someone does something for him and, "You are welcome," (not "sure") when someone thanks him.  He should hold the door when he is the first one through.  He should place the napkin on his lap at the table and smile when someone walks by.

Teach your child empathy.  She should notice when someone is upset and try to make the person feel better.  She should understand when someone wants to be left alone, but be there when someone needs a shoulder to cry on.  She should know not to judge a person before walking in his shoes.

Teach your child respect.  He should not talk back to a person in authority.  He should look a person in the eyes when talking.  He should listen when being spoken to.  He should treat others the way he wants to be treated.

Teach your child kindness.  She should keep her mouth shut if she doesn't have something nice to say.  She should say nice things.  She should invite the new kid to play with her.  She should stand up for the kid who is being picked on.

Teach your child responsibility.  He should accept consequences for his actions.  He should work to be sure those consequences are few and far between.  He should do his homework without complaint.  He should have chores, and do them on a regular basis.  He should do what he says.

Teach your child cleanliness.  She should shower regularly.  She should keep her teeth brushed and her hair combed.  She should wear clean clothes (or at least start out in them).

Teach your child safety.  He should look both ways before crossing the street.  He should wear a helmet when appropriate.  He should watch for cars when riding his bike.  He should walk with others to and from school.  He should know where to go in case of an emergency.

Most of all, teach your child love.  Be sure your child knows you love her.  Be sure your child knows he is your world.  Be sure your child knows what she means to you.  Never, ever let a day go by that you don't tell him, "I love you."

Learning to Love Myself

I ran my first 5K last week, along with my 20-something sister-in-law, who ran her first 10K.  After our race, she put a picture of the two of us on Facebook.  Looking at her cute little body next to me, I felt bad at first, but then I realized, I'm almost 40 and I ran a 5K!  In the last two days, I've run nine miles!  I'm not obese, not really even overweight, but I've always been hard on myself and, let's face it, I've never been that cute skinny little girl in a bikini.  But I'm finally coming to terms with who I am.  I am a mother, a wife, a teacher, a friend.  I am so much more than my body.  Why did this affect me so much?

Well, I've been thinking a lot about weight due to Abercrombie Fitch making their beautiful people statement and I think it's really sad that a company would exclude a whole group of people, well exclude the majority of the people, by saying that they expect only beautiful and thin people to be in their store.  First of all, who says only thin people are beautiful?  In fact, I know a lot of not-so-beautiful thin people.  And, I know a lot of beautiful not-so-thin people.  So, we need to start by clarifying that skinny and beautiful don't always belong in the same sentence, just as fat and beautiful can fit perfectly well together.

Second of all, how many people really can fit into a size 0, or even a 2 or 4 pair of jeans?  I know of very few.  It seems like a really poor business decision to cater to such a small number of people.  Now, I know that Abercrombie Fitch does very well and has made millions (billions?), but imagine how much more they could sell if they were just a little more open minded.  But, if Jeffries doesn't mind losing all of that business, that's his prerogative.

So, here's what I have learned, in my infinite wisdom (that may just have to do with my age :) ) I may not be the skinny little person that I would like to be. I may not look good in a bathing suit.  But I'm healthy and I'm happy. I have the most amazing family anyone could ever ask for who loves me even if I have a little extra to love.  I will enjoy an extra glass of wine or the occasional dessert without any guilt, and I will run and run until I can't run anymore.  Although I know he'll never see this, Mike Jeffries, you can kiss my ass.  ;)

I'm No Hero

Tomorrow is the day we go back to school after a two week winter break.  I don't know if I'll ever walk into those doors feeling the same after the shooting in CT.  I know there have been school shootings before, but I don't remember one where so many wonderful, brave, innocent people died.  There were so many heroes that day, so many brave men and women who saved so many lives.

The weekend after the shooting was a very busy one for me.  My son was in a performance that kept us busy all weekend.  I really didn't have a chance to process what had happened.  That Monday during announcements, we had a moment of silence for the children of Sandy Hook Elementary.  That was when it hit me.  Standing in my classroom with my 22 third graders sitting in front of me.  I found myself looking around my classroom.  There are no bathrooms in there, no large closets to hide children in.  Could I somehow shove all 22 of them in the cabinets if I needed to?  Would it be safer to shove them out the window into the courtyard?  Do they all know what to do in case of an emergency?

I teared up during our moment of silence.  When announcements were finished, I began to tell the children that they are safe at school.  We do drills and discuss what to do in an emergency.  We do this not because of Sandy Hook; we have always done this.  I tried my very hardest not to cry as I was talking to my students, but then I looked at his face.  My own little boy is in my class.  Can I keep him safe?  Can I keep that promise to him?  I had to turn away to gather my composure and then went on with the day. 

A few minutes later, I looked up and one of my students was crying.  I called her over to me and asked if she was upset about the shooting.  She said she was and started crying harder.  I didn't know what to say.  How do you explain something to a nine year old when you don't understand yourself.  I did the best I could, I hugged her and cried with her.

You see, I'm no hero.  In all honesty, I don't know what I would do if someone came into our school threatening to hurt my students.  I hope I would have the sense about me to do what those brave people at Sandy Hook did.  I hope I would know just how to keep my kids safe.  I practice the drills, I can tell you what I am supposed to do, I just can't guarantee that it would be enough.

Truth is, I'm a teacher, not a hero.