What my son learned in elementary school

My son has four days left in elementary school.  Four days and then he becomes a stinky, hormonal middle schooler.  I was lucky enough to have my children with me at elementary school, and having my baby go on to middle school is taking it's toll on this mommy.  Not only is he going off to be with big kids, but I won't be there to keep an eye on him.  I've had one of my babies close by for the last nine years, and now they will both be on their own (so to speak).  I know this is harder on me than him and he is ready for the change.  I know this because of what he learned in elementary school.

My son learned to read, write, and do math in elementary school.  He knows the constitution, the history of our country and state, and how to write a paragraph.  He learned to add, subtract, multiply, and divide.  I know he's ready for the academic challenges of middle school.  But my son learned so much more than this.

He learned that life isn't fair.  He learned the smart kids, the well behaved kids, the kind kids, aren't the ones who earn the awards.  He learned working hard and doing well isn't going to get you that trophy or that medal.  He learned the students who really deserve the recognition don't get it.  Really, just ask him.

And in spite of this, he learned working hard and doing what's right is important, even if you don't get the recognition.  Knowing what is right, and doing what is right, that feeling you get, that is more important than the piece of pizza at Principal's Lunch or the piece of paper at the award ceremony.  Amazingly, though he hasn't been recognized for three years for never getting in trouble, having good attendance, or having a grade below a C, being a good student is important to him.

So tonight I thank the teachers at his school.  Not for being supportive (though there were a couple who were), or for being a good role model, but for teaching him a lesson.  Sometimes it really is the "bad kids" who get all of the credit...and the "good kids", well, they are just good because they know it's the right thing to do.  I know this is a lesson my son will carry with him for the rest of his life.  I just wish he would have learned it a different way.

Taking Time for Me

It's been a while since I have written a blog post.  I guess I feel like I don't have anything important to say most of the time.  I decided I'm going to try to post at least once a week for the coming year to help me keep focus on my new endeavor.  What is it, you might ask?  I have decided to go back to school (again) to get my administration certification.

If you are like my daughter, you are asking why?  Don't you have enough on your plate?  The answer is yes, and no.  I have spent the last 15 years of my life focusing on the most important things in my world: my kids.  I have been their taxi driver, scout leader, cheerleader, and teacher.  I stayed at the same school for 10 years because my children were at my school.  I've helped with homework, watched karate, swim lessons, and dance practice and listened to them play piano, guitar, sing, whatever their little hearts are into at the moment.  I have spent so much time loving and caring for them that I forgot about taking care of myself.  My children are growing up now and though they'll still need me for a while, I know the days of staying busy for them are coming to an end.

So now it's my turn.  I earned this time.  I am going to do things for me.  I see an opportunity to better my career and I'm going to take it.  The next 17 months aren't going to be easy; my classes are going to take a lot of my time.  I still struggle with the fact that I am often doing homework instead of playing games or hanging out with my family.  But I'm learning that it's okay to take a few hours out of my week to do something for me.  I'll be a better person for it in the end.

I'll never have money, but I'm oh so rich

This week has been one of those weeks; scratch that, this month has been one of those months, or maybe this year has been one of those years.  I admit it; I've felt sorry for myself, stressed and have been upset.  My life doesn't always go as planned, and, well, it pisses me off sometimes.  My car is making noises it shouldn't be making.  My friends are going on trips I can't go on.  My child didn't get into the school she wanted to;  Sometimes life really stinks.

Yet...most of the time life is so amazing.  I feel like such an ungrateful shit for feeling sorry for myself.  I have an amazing family, a husband who loves me and two children who are really good great kids.  I'm not just saying that, somehow I ended up with these amazing two little people who live in my house, who I really probably don't deserve, yet here they are.  They are smart, talented and well behaved, and they are the loves of my life.

And then there's my job.  I complain about it sometimes, more than I should.  There's a lot of paperwork and some days are really hard.  I couldn't wait to go on a two week break.  But I have to admit.  As I was saying goodbye to the little monsters today, for two weeks, I was sad.  I really will miss them.  And I'm already dreading the end of the school year when I will say goodbye to three of them for good.

For those of you who don't know, I teach preschoolers with autism.  This is my first year after teaching regular education for sixteen years.  I decided I needed a change, so I made a huge one.  The first few weeks I was really afraid I had made a big mistake.  I felt like I didn't know what I was doing and was flying by the seat of my pants.  There are still times that I feel like I don't know what I'm doing, but then sometimes I feel like I am really making a difference in these kids' lives.  

I have seen some amazing things happen with these little people this school year.  I've seen language grow, social skills emerge and even some huge academic improvements.  I've changed lots of diapers (although my amazing aides have changed hundreds more) and I've kissed lots of boo boos.  Today, though, I saw some changes in some of my little people that made my heart grow three sizes.  

I saw a little guy share who has never wanted to share before, offering a toy to another little boy.  I heard another little guy, who could barely talk in August, say my name.  And I got a kiss from my newest little guy who spent hours screaming just a few short weeks ago.  

These may seem like small milestones to you, but to me, they are the world.  We work so hard with our little friends to show progress like this, and today, I saw it working. 

So, I don't have a lot of money, and as a teacher, I never will expect to.  But my life is so rich.