I'm having an affair

It's true.  I sleep with it every night, I worry when it doesn't get enough attention, and when it vibrates, I get so happy!

Yep, I'm having an affair with my Fitbit.  We've been together for almost a year now (well, I did trade up when the new Charge came out, but I've been faithful ever since!).  We sleep together, eat together, work together and run together.  I never thought I'd feel this way about anything other than my husband, but, it turns out, I can't live without my Fitbit.

In fact, I even dream about the future with my Fitbit.  I think to myself, will we grow old together?  When I'm 70 year old, will it's little vibrations (at 10,000 steps) excite me as they do now?  Will I strive to get to 10,000 steps every day?  Will I have the cute little tan line on my wrist?

My Fitbit and I have been through so much together!  From those days when I could barley run a mile to now, where we get cranky if we don't run at least every other day.  5K?  No problem!  10K?  Piece of cake!  As long as I get my happy little vibration and my little Fitbit party (as I like to call it).

So, my husband has some competition.  I suppose it's not really fair, since my Fitbit and I are rarely apart.  We'll see how he stacks up.  ;)

Learning to Love Myself

I ran my first 5K last week, along with my 20-something sister-in-law, who ran her first 10K.  After our race, she put a picture of the two of us on Facebook.  Looking at her cute little body next to me, I felt bad at first, but then I realized, I'm almost 40 and I ran a 5K!  In the last two days, I've run nine miles!  I'm not obese, not really even overweight, but I've always been hard on myself and, let's face it, I've never been that cute skinny little girl in a bikini.  But I'm finally coming to terms with who I am.  I am a mother, a wife, a teacher, a friend.  I am so much more than my body.  Why did this affect me so much?

Well, I've been thinking a lot about weight due to Abercrombie Fitch making their beautiful people statement and I think it's really sad that a company would exclude a whole group of people, well exclude the majority of the people, by saying that they expect only beautiful and thin people to be in their store.  First of all, who says only thin people are beautiful?  In fact, I know a lot of not-so-beautiful thin people.  And, I know a lot of beautiful not-so-thin people.  So, we need to start by clarifying that skinny and beautiful don't always belong in the same sentence, just as fat and beautiful can fit perfectly well together.

Second of all, how many people really can fit into a size 0, or even a 2 or 4 pair of jeans?  I know of very few.  It seems like a really poor business decision to cater to such a small number of people.  Now, I know that Abercrombie Fitch does very well and has made millions (billions?), but imagine how much more they could sell if they were just a little more open minded.  But, if Jeffries doesn't mind losing all of that business, that's his prerogative.

So, here's what I have learned, in my infinite wisdom (that may just have to do with my age :) ) I may not be the skinny little person that I would like to be. I may not look good in a bathing suit.  But I'm healthy and I'm happy. I have the most amazing family anyone could ever ask for who loves me even if I have a little extra to love.  I will enjoy an extra glass of wine or the occasional dessert without any guilt, and I will run and run until I can't run anymore.  Although I know he'll never see this, Mike Jeffries, you can kiss my ass.  ;)

It's Always the Good Ones

I have met so many wonderful children in my life.  That's one of the benefits of being a teacher.  You meet these amazing little people and you know that someday they will grow up into amazing big people.  I know that these little people will make a difference in the world, some of them more than others.  One in particular, has already made a difference in my world.

I went to a fundraiser tonight for a little boy I had in my class in first grade.  This year stands out to me because I had my daughter in my class this year.  It was an amazing year.  I met one of my good friends that year as we team taught and learned so much from each other.  We had 36 little people in our room.  Some of them made us laugh, some of them made us cry and some of them made us want to quit our jobs!

I'll never forget one little guy.  I'll call him Fred.  Fred was such a little bugger!  He would get angry at us and hide his head in the cubbies or crawl under the desk so we couldn't get to him.  Fred had a tough life.  His parents were getting divorced and there was a lot of heartache in this six year old little boy.  Fred had to catch the bus at 7:20, but school didn't start until 9:00, so he was often hungry way before lunch.  I always bought string cheese to keep in the refrigerator and when Fred started getting cranky, I'd give him a piece.  It seemed to help him a lot.

Fred left our school toward the end of the year, but he was back the following year.  I'll never forget those dimples when he smiled.  He would always greet me with a big smile and hug in the hallway.  He moved schools again during this school year.  He was in fifth grade.

A couple of weeks ago, we got a flier emailed to us for a fundraiser for Fred.  He has a brain tumor.  I found out through teachers at his current school that the tumor was found when he started having seizures.  I couldn't believe that this sweet boy was so sick.  I knew I had to go and see Fred at this event.

I was so happy when I saw Fred.  He looked up at me and another teacher from our school and smiled such a big smile.  He said, "I was wondering if you would come!"  I told him I wouldn't miss this night because I love him so much.  He didn't look sick.  Other than a new pair of glasses, he looked like the same little boy I had in first grade.  I hugged Fred so tight.  I sure do miss seeing that face around school.

I don't know how sick Fred really is.  I know that he has a tumor in his brain that was causing seizures.  I believe the seizures are under control thanks to the medication he is taking.  I understand that he will be having surgery soon to try to remove the tumor.  I want him to be the healthy, happy ten year old boy that he deserves to be.

I can't explain why I love Fred so much.  I tend to like the kids who are little stinkers in class, but truly have the kindest hearts you can imagine.  I will never forget that little boy who hid his head in the cubbies and ate the string cheese out of my fridge.

I hope beyond hope that Fred is going to be ok.  He will always hold a special place in my heart.

The Road to Healthy Living

I've been trying to make better choices lately.  Trying to eat better and get more exercise.  However, it seems as if the world is working against me!

This past week I have had something to do EVERY day.  Most of the things involve food.  Why is it that when we get together with friends or family we don't serve fruit or vegetables?  It's always fried, battered, sugary junk.  It's very difficult to be on a weight loss journey and be around....people.  I know, I know, it's all about will power.  Turns out I have none.  I can walk right past that chocolate cake, no worries; but put a plate of chicken wings in front of me and you better just get the heck out of the way because I will eat them.  All of them.  And if your fingers get in the way, I just might eat those, too.

I went back to work on Monday after having two weeks off.  Sunday, I told myself, "Self, you are going to the gym tomorrow at 6:00am."  Sunday night, I was still not in bed at 11:00.  Monday morning, I told myself, "I'll start tomorrow, for sure."  I didn't get home until after 10:00.  Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday were all the same.  Turns out I can talk myself out of going bed early just so I don't have to get up early and go to the gym.  I'm hoping to get to the gym today because once I get there, I'm usually pretty good at going regularly.  Except for the fact that we are supposed to go meet one of my husband's out of town friends today, have to take Gwen around to sell Girls Scout cookies and have another child spending the night at our house tonight.  See, I can make an excuse for anything.

So, I'll keep trying to better myself.  Maybe one of these days I'll actually be able to talk myself INTO it instead of OUT of it.

If you'll excuse me, breakfast is ready.  My husband make fried eggs, sausage and hashbrowns.  Oi Vey!